Death Threats & How the Rabbit Can't Manage it

Current mood: Shaky Stevens

After some lovely threatening behaviour from the various trolls (yes I know I overuse that word, but if it grunts like a troll & thieves like a troll...) & inbred nasty-doers that frequent this grubby corner of the New Forest and some time wasting by the police I shakingly sat down to consider what other delights my place of work has in store for me. The evil entity and ex-boss known as The Rabbit is coming to visit on Tuesday to interview innocent & unsuspecting applicants for the job left vacant by the last manager she hounded out of the company. Luckily I will be away at Sidmouth Folk Week (a handy bit of scheduling) leaving the staff to ridicule the beast by munching carrots in her scrunched up snout. I don't understand this kind of manager that takes a job where they don't really know what they're doing and spends their time throwing their weight around just to make themselves feel like they're in charge. Happily our current boss leaves you alone to do what you do best (which in my case is sitting around doing nothing, hoorah), offers advice when you need it and manages not to scream at your head-face, unlike the floppy-eared one.
Maybe it's time to find a new job. If any prospective employers are reading I'll list my extensive qualifications:
1. Ability to make any piece of footwear emit a vom-inducing smell within minutes of wearing them;
2. Multitasking - Five years experience of book/comic/newspaper/magazine reading whilst also listening to the best music available to my ears;
3. Skilled in developing marketing strategies that increase participation and revenue;
4. Nah, not really;
5. That's about it.
6. Giz-a-job!

yes, this is where I work, mmmm