Like A Bird's Eggplant

Feel the magic, hear the roar, aubergines are loose.

Make use of the handsome aubergine (use him or lose him). He likes to be used, he is, indeed, loose.
A large, pendulous & purple fruit, he can be found stalking the confines of the Menopause and Hormonal Change website, where he goes by his exotic dancer pseudonym of 'Brinjal, bringer of Egg'.

Don't touch his green bits, for they are poison (and a bit clammy).

You may bruise him with vinegar and apply him to your cracked nipples, abscesses and haemorrhoids, he likes nothing more. Burn his peduncle until it is reduced to ashes and he will reward you with relief from your intestinal haemorrhages, piles and toothache.

Now be off with you, the performance is due to start. I must go and take my place behind the velour curtain and watch as the dance begins anew.