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widg‧et /ˈwɪdʒɪt/ [wij-it] -noun: Pointless ramblings from the New Forest. Obviously complete & utter Rubbish. Why must I contibute to all this endless talk about me? My self-indulgent knees, spilling themselves all over the internet. Obviously i am Jon and his hair, I AM HIM!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Like A Bird's Eggplant

Feel the magic, hear the roar, aubergines are loose.

Make use of the handsome aubergine (use him or lose him). He likes to be used, he is, indeed, loose.
A large, pendulous & purple fruit, he can be found stalking the confines of the Menopause and Hormonal Change website, where he goes by his exotic dancer pseudonym of 'Brinjal, bringer of Egg'.

Don't touch his green bits, for they are poison (and a bit clammy).

You may bruise him with vinegar and apply him to your cracked nipples, abscesses and haemorrhoids, he likes nothing more. Burn his peduncle until it is reduced to ashes and he will reward you with relief from your intestinal haemorrhages, piles and toothache.

Now be off with you, the performance is due to start. I must go and take my place behind the velour curtain and watch as the dance begins anew.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jenniedee said...

You are so weird.
But surely some kind of sick genius as well.

1:36 pm

 
Blogger AlphIANo said...

You, my friend, would make an incredible Bond villain!... well maybe more of a villain in Johnny English 2.

(next blog about the mghty artechoke please)

3:29 pm

 

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