A Storm Is Coming

Can you smell it?

Before waving bye bye to the Ecuadorian Monkey Fiddler, a successful CD audit was hastily completed just in time to welcome the expected avalanche of new arrivals in pressie form by the end of this week. For it is so, the most important and audacious social event of your calendar is fast approaching. Stars of stage & screen (i.e. Panto & Big Brother) have had their pewter-embossed invitations despatched by carrier-pig, whilst the clamouring proletariat have has to make do with lovingly hand-crafted text messages.

Shirley Bassey & Jay Aston have agreed to mime to the hits of Alma Cogan, Demis Roussos has donated his Kaftan for use as a marquee, the finger buffet has been provided by the NHS waste body parts department and the Hangover Fairy has been employed to ensure that the hosts feel every month of their burgeoning age. Rough Trade are celebrating by opening a branch in London's fashionable Brick Lane, so that both newfangled indie music and goo-spangled Hindi music can be enjoyed in the same afternoon. Sidmouth will be marking the event by reopening Branscombe beach for a fresh spot of recreational looting and simultaneously holding a folky festival of folk for folk who like folk. Threshers also refused to rain on the parade, despite their better judgement, by feeding Poulner to the Rabid Rabbit, whilst leaving Ringwood to its decadent freedom.

As a wise woman (more than) once said, "Bring it on! 'Ave it! You're all phat bastards! Deal with it! Pressies!"


Currently listening: Hatful of Hollow by The Smiths