widg‧et /ˈwɪdʒɪt/ [wij-it] -noun: Pointless ramblings from the New Forest. Obviously complete & utter Rubbish. Why must I contibute to all this endless talk about me? My self-indulgent knees, spilling themselves all over the internet. Obviously i am Jon and his hair, I AM HIM!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Growling at Badgers

Blog action day was yesterday, apparently, and it completely passed me by, but suffice to say: trees and other green things are good, chainsaws and other shiny things are bad. Look Mum, I'm saving the world (and the cheerleader).

Moving along in the same vein; drivers are an infuriating breed, aren't they? Oh yes. As well as destroying the green things that are good with their gas-pumping shiny things that are bad, they are thieving, car park space-stealers, and they smell. Especially when you are in a hurry to get a pre-Billy Connelly fruit juice and to gear your rear-end up for an interval-less bought of hilarity at the BIC (Bournemouth's rubbish biro, compared to the condemned, not-rubbish fountain pen of the Wintergardens), feeling like a globule of gunked up ink trying to escape from its congealed nib. Ftftftftft... BOOM!

On the way back to our vehicle I was confronted by the distinct whiff of nitronium-disulphatron wafting from the broken down carcasses of the beastly drivers, but I comforted myself with the warm feeling of genius. After skim-reading the many thousands of prescribed questions in a matter of blinking whore biscuits, and a squirmy, banquet-of-tepid-prawn-cocktail-on-a-boat style tummy, I aced my theory test. Yes, I am coming to join your evil breed, infuriating the dwindling colony of shivering pedestrians will be my life's new mission.

But I have to pass the other test first, so for the moment, if you want me, I shall be on the streets with Bibby & the Merry Merrymakers, sustainably paper 'crafting' for the environment

Currently listening: The Flying Cup Club by Beirut


Blogger Jennie-Dee said...

What will happen to your prawny-stomach when the oil runs out?

1:45 pm


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