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widg‧et /ˈwɪdʒɪt/ [wij-it] -noun: Pointless ramblings from the New Forest. Obviously complete & utter Rubbish. Why must I contibute to all this endless talk about me? My self-indulgent knees, spilling themselves all over the internet. Obviously i am Jon and his hair, I AM HIM!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Return of the Wheeze and Other Animals

The cold has returned for a second round boxing metaphor with a lovely high pitched chest wheeze trailing in it's wake. After being knocked to the ground and revived by my strepsils-mouth-guard and ibuprofen-style coach spraying refreshing phlegm into my face, my disease-opponent is now on the wane at long last, along with the haemorrhoids and the ageing breast model carrying the round 2 boxing metaphor sign.

I suffered a Slight disappointment, and near-relapse at the weekend when I discovered that my Blondie DVD had been borrowed/stolen/sold into slavery, so I had to comfort myself with Martika and some olbas oil (the essence of Sally Taylor). My nasal passages have never been
clearer, except, possibly, for when I experimented with a scouring powder based hayfever remedy with a painful aftertaste.

More disappointment today! Peacocks (my second favourite shop with the word 'cocks' in its name) has sold out of the mainstay of my wardrobe: the orange snazz-pants of my dreams.
Excuse me while I reach for my comforting essence of Sally Taylor...

1 Comments:

Anonymous JD said...

Nice metaphor! Nice pants!

11:37 am

 

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